What a bizarre day! After the
de ja vu from this afternoon, we go into an eclectic night.
First up the pep rally! Total rah-rah! Lou
Holtz spoke and the 1988 National Championship team was being honored, with most in attendance. (man those guys looked old. Amazing how I have not aged in the 20 years since they won it all, but they have!) It was great to hear Lou speak and the crowd was fired up the entire evening. They knew he was going to speak. Before he got up there though, a couple of the '88 guys got up and spoke. They really charged up the place and looked to get the team pretty motivated. Then Lou came up after Charlie spoke (Charlie noted that he was not dumb enough to
follow Lou
Holtz at a pep rally!)and the place just went nuts. From the looks of it I felt that the next day would be a good game. Win or lose the guys were fired up!
So, from the rah-rah pep rally it was off to a Korean restaurant with a group of non-sports women. Marci's friends were getting together for a girls' night out and I was invited. It was basically the same group I had met the year before at a dinner just like this - and at Sunny's so I was looking forward to it. I also knew it was going to be a bit more cerebral than the pep rally so I had to change my thinking cap. OK, I had to put it on! Who needs something like that at a pep rally!! It was a great night of stimulating conversation and excellent food (who knew! A good Korean restaurant in South Bend!)
The after dinner excitement started innocently enough. One of the women asked if anyone wanted to go to the neighborhood dive bar across the street, Ruby's. Marci had an abject look of horror on her face. Before she could answer though her friend Shayna said that she could take Marci back to her car (a job I had been assigned during dinner). Marci jumped at the offer so she and Shayna left, as did most of the others. There were three of us, though, that decided to check out the local watering hole. So I am sitting at the bar with three good looking women when suddenly one of the locals - a very BIG and very DRUNK local - came up to me and enquired in his best inebriated drawl "Hey, what's your story? Why 'r' you here with three women? Which one are you here with?" Of course never one to miss out on an opportunity to be a wise ass, I had to respond "All of 'em!" Well, this seem to blow away our giant drunken soon-to-be-friend. He stammered a bit and then posed this interesting query. "Well, for you to have three women you must have a lot of money or have a big ... (well, let's just substitute "well endowed" and keep the site somewhat PG!). Now if I had been sharp I would have said, "why is it either or?" But honestly, to have gone from the cerebral discussions about "films", vegetarianism and other such highbrow fancy stuff to know someone asking about my ...
ummm, 'manhood' was hysterical!
Well from that moment on we were stuck with a new buddy. I got his whole life story, details about his job, his brother and his social outlook on life. Oh, and did I mention that he talked a lot about his rough and tumble bar brawl days? Or that he was reading books about serial killers because he wanted to understand how they think!! And of course while I was getting the details of this large drunken man's life he found it necessary to shake my hand. (he was impressed that I was so cool to have 3 women). Given his size and his alcohol level, this was a very painful experience as he was crushing my hand with each prolonged grip.
So, if that wasn't enough then we were joined by his equally intoxicated "lovely bride". Oh, yea, in her oh
sooo sexy gin & cigarette soaked breath she asked "
whass goin on
herrrre" as she buried her breasts in my back. I thought for sure I was near death. If my new large buddy thought his wife was making a play on me he certainly was going to put that serial killer thought knowledge to good use! Fortunately after a short while she stopped leaning on me in various places (keeping it PG, folks!) and my pal Rick never noticed. And I had somehow resisted a tremendous urge to hurl!
The funniest point of the night came toward the end. With Rick and his wife now firmly entrenched in our company, apparently Rick told Allison that he wanted her phone number. He thought she'd be a good influence on his wife and wanted them to become friends! Well,
drunkypoo wife comes back from where ever and asks Allison "
Whuu'd he
suyyy?" To which Allison responded that Rick thought she'd be a good influence on her. Well, the little missus whirled her head around, cocked one eye toward Allison and with a drunken, contorted face blurted out "
whyzzzatt??
Izzit the way ya suck a straw!" Susan and I who got the full multimedia experience of face, voice and question LITERALLY fell over laughing. In fact we fell all over each other, which was good because the floor was the only thing that was going to stop that fall! Oh my God! I start the evening with these classy, cultured women talking about documentary films, oppression in Africa and other worldly stuff and we end up the night wondering about Allison's ability to suck a straw - which she did not even have one in the bar to be able to demonstrate!
Once we all gained our composure we decided it was time for our new friends to go off and do their couple thing - away from us. In a stroke of genius at one point Susan made a reference to me being her guy or something. We tried to act like a couple to get Rick to leave, but apparently that was way too subtle (maybe that is why he moved on to Allison?!) So, now it was time for a more direct approach. I looked big foot in the eye and said man to giant drunken ape "hey dude, I'm gonna make my move!" At which point he said "Oh, cool. Good luck, man!" and then disappeared as quickly as he had shown up! Why the hell hadn't we thought of that earlier!! Ah well. At least we had some great laughs out of it. And feeling has finally returned to my hand so I guess all went well any way!